October 27th Thursday

Worked in office all day, trying to get PCA schedule done thru the end of the year & other odds and ends. I   still need to get FMLA paper work turned in.   I procrastinate things I do not like or want to do.  Like organizing the mail, organizing all this cancer information and doctor appt.s and sending in FMLA paperwork for something I really don't want to do.
I was doing some of my mandatory education today and looked thru all the diagnoses of those needing hazardous drugs, cancer only being one.  How ignorant I have been of all the different & difficult diagnoses people have to deal with.  I have been lucky with health and grateful for it.  I feel silly for whining away in this blog.

Tomorrow I work on the floor as a nurse & can enjoy the miracle of birth.   It looks to be a busy day, so that will keep my mind off things.    I have agreed to babysit Sara's kids tomorrow night.   NO time for self pity tomorrow. 
 
I received more gifts, hugs and well wishes.   I received a beautiful huge planter from the managers in Women Services.  It looks perfect in my home.    I am so loved, it is always amazing to me and gives me strength.

Looks like on Monday I have to go to imaging first before surgery to have radioactive dye shot into the tumor for them to locate the sentinel node.  Wow, it just keeps getting funner.     I think I am scheduled for an 1130 start time for surgery, but will find out for sure tomorrow between 2 and 4.    I have been told I will be in surgery between 4 to 5 hours.
I kept thinking all day, that this time next week I will finally know which path I am to journey.   I feel strong, it's just the unknown, once again that I don't like. This is hard for anyone, but for me I think I like control and have never been good with surprises, good or bad.
  I will deal with whatever I am given, I always have & do a good job.