I am feeling stronger every day. My right arm pit and ROM is still somewhat limiting, but I feel like I am moving forward. M-W I recollect that I took the days pretty easy.
Kathie Wilde came by for a visit and brought a gift from L&D practice. It is a battery operated facial cleanser to be used in the shower. Kathie loves her. It was pink! How awesome. I have been using it faithfully for a week and do really like it.
I dropped off some thank you cards at the hospital with Brielle, on Monday. We picked out a few tags off the Christmas giving tree. She and I have gone shopping this week and got the 3 gifts purchased. Today, Nov. 27th she saw another giving tree at church, so she was excited to pick up a few more tags. There were notes on a near by poster board, explaining the families we would be helping and their circumstances. I tried to help her understand how we were helping. She was excellent at church today, unlike last week. I did not have the other kids with me today.
Tuesday we heard back from Dermatologist that Jim's biopsy on his face came back basal cell carcinoma. He will have to have this surgically removed in the doctor's office. There is no danger that this will spread systemically, but would spread across his facial dermis. We do not have an appt. for surgery as of yet.
Wednesday, Colleen dropped off an awesome scarf she had knitted, along with some out of this world cooked apples. I really, really, really liked them!!
We had a small gathering at Mom and Dad's for Thanksgiving this year. 9 Adults and 4 kids. It was extremely yummy. I made rolls, Jim worked on cooking a Turkey outside and hanging Christmas lights. Cori and her kids came over later, as well as Jaron & Summer, and Rob & Sara and all their group, so we ended up with a houseful, by evening. Corby is still at odds with the family, so we did not see or hear from him. I know he was on everyone's mind. Oh, by the way, it was mine and Kennedy's birthday this year on Thanksgiving, so Happy Birthday to us!! We celebrated over pumpkin pie!
Staci, Martha and myself went to Target for the mn Black Friday sales. We waited outside for 1 1/2 hours, weather not bad, thank goodness. I was impressed how smooth it went and how organized Target was. I saw two nurse friends at Target as well. Donna and Jessica. Mom and sister Staci went to Shopko. They also had a good experience. They did not show up until after it opened so they fore went the standing in the cold in line experience. We then came home and went to sleep around 2:30am We went back out to Toys R Us and Big 5 around 1100. I then took Staci and Martha back home. My mom, sister and I went to lunch, then did a tad more shopping. Slept good again that night!!!!!
Saturday, my friend and neighbor Marlene called and we went to a local boutique @ Aspen Ridge. Found a few unique gifts, then turned around and took Mom and Staci back later that day. Mom got some good idea's for gifts to make. Jim and I had gift certificates for a movie and dinner that we had been hanging on to for a long while. We went to dinner at Cheesecake factory, then off to see Breaking Dawn.
Came home and put up Christmas tree and Nativity. Yes, my old life is back!!!
Sunday was another beautiful day. Jim and I went over to the mall in the am, before the stores were opened and walked. Unfortunately I still cannot walk at a very fast pace, but the goal was to try & walk off some off that Thanksgiving dinner you know. I don't think Jim would say we were very successful. I was quite distracted with window shopping!!
Monday, November 28, 2011
Sunday, November 27, 2011
Nov. 17th - Nov.-19th
Wow, it gets really hard to remember what to journal when you let so much time lapse!
These are the highlights I can remember.........
Staci's date cancelled on her on her BIRTHDAY! It was not a good day. Ends up he was sick. BUT I think she liked my present to her : )
Colleen came over Thursday night and we had dinner together. She brought soup and bread, I provided salad and pie. We just sat and laughed and ate too much. She got me caught up on my work life. She brought another awesome gift from the IMC L&D unit and the L&D managers. A night at the Zermatt Resort, with breakfast and dinner!! When I write my thank-you notes I am constantly getting choked up, I tell you. The outpouring of love is just more than I can bear some days!
Dr. Chen's nurse called on Thursday and again on Friday am, November 18th asking about output from the JP drain. She was not encouraging that it would be pulled, so when I went to my appt. Friday afternoon, I was not expecting it to get pulled. But once again, there are small miracles that occur in the world everyday and mine was I got the JP drain pulled out!! Yeah!!!! Reflecting back, I am glad I did not know, thus I did not worry about how it was going to feel. It was not near as bad as my mind would have made it out to be.
I was so happy, I had a very BUSY week-end ahead of me! I will not be having any more re-constructive surgery, until February. I will go in two weeks, to receive my first injection into the expander for my 'tank up'.
Later that Friday night I went to the Time Out for Women Conference with mom held at the Salt Palace. This conference is sponsored by Desert Book. Friday, we heard from Sheri Dew, Brad Wilcox and Hillary Weeks spoke and sang. It was a cold, wet day. We had taken Trax and had to wait for 40 minutes to access a train to get home. We decided to drive the next day. Saturday was also very good, Michael Wilcox and 4 women speakers, plus the group Jericho Road entertained us. Michael Wilcox's wife died last year. He read an excerpt from a journal entry that was written in 1987. It was the only journal entry he had. It helped egg me on to keep this, my journal, going. There were 5,000 women in attendance. My purse was over loaded and it was crowded conditions. These added to my discomfort, but I felt like I did ok, and thought it was well worth the time and effort. I will plan to go next year and will be able to enjoy it even more.
Sunday was the Primary program. Sara, Rob, mom and day all came to support the kids and Jim. The program went well, Rowan sang like a little champ and Jim did awesome. They sang, Teach Me to Walk
Sharing Time went well other than Brielle was being a stinker. I had the kids write what they were grateful for on leaves, then announce their individual gratitude comment into the mike, then hang it on a pre-made tree. We then watched a 38 minutes Christmas movie and ate the sugared corn puffs I had made & bagged. Daemon and Rowan had spent the night Saturday night and Daemon worked feverishly on his Lego presents. Both had over 500 pieces in them. He is amazing with these and it is impressive to me that kids can figure these out! I don't think I could complete one successfully if my life depended on it.
After church, we then came home, Jaron, Summer and Staci joined us. We made haystacks and strawberry pretzel salad for dinner and sang happy birthday to Staci and Daemon. Whew! What a week-end. Feels like my old like creeping back in on me!
These are the highlights I can remember.........
Staci's date cancelled on her on her BIRTHDAY! It was not a good day. Ends up he was sick. BUT I think she liked my present to her : )
Colleen came over Thursday night and we had dinner together. She brought soup and bread, I provided salad and pie. We just sat and laughed and ate too much. She got me caught up on my work life. She brought another awesome gift from the IMC L&D unit and the L&D managers. A night at the Zermatt Resort, with breakfast and dinner!! When I write my thank-you notes I am constantly getting choked up, I tell you. The outpouring of love is just more than I can bear some days!
Dr. Chen's nurse called on Thursday and again on Friday am, November 18th asking about output from the JP drain. She was not encouraging that it would be pulled, so when I went to my appt. Friday afternoon, I was not expecting it to get pulled. But once again, there are small miracles that occur in the world everyday and mine was I got the JP drain pulled out!! Yeah!!!! Reflecting back, I am glad I did not know, thus I did not worry about how it was going to feel. It was not near as bad as my mind would have made it out to be.
I was so happy, I had a very BUSY week-end ahead of me! I will not be having any more re-constructive surgery, until February. I will go in two weeks, to receive my first injection into the expander for my 'tank up'.
Later that Friday night I went to the Time Out for Women Conference with mom held at the Salt Palace. This conference is sponsored by Desert Book. Friday, we heard from Sheri Dew, Brad Wilcox and Hillary Weeks spoke and sang. It was a cold, wet day. We had taken Trax and had to wait for 40 minutes to access a train to get home. We decided to drive the next day. Saturday was also very good, Michael Wilcox and 4 women speakers, plus the group Jericho Road entertained us. Michael Wilcox's wife died last year. He read an excerpt from a journal entry that was written in 1987. It was the only journal entry he had. It helped egg me on to keep this, my journal, going. There were 5,000 women in attendance. My purse was over loaded and it was crowded conditions. These added to my discomfort, but I felt like I did ok, and thought it was well worth the time and effort. I will plan to go next year and will be able to enjoy it even more.
Sunday was the Primary program. Sara, Rob, mom and day all came to support the kids and Jim. The program went well, Rowan sang like a little champ and Jim did awesome. They sang, Teach Me to Walk
Sharing Time went well other than Brielle was being a stinker. I had the kids write what they were grateful for on leaves, then announce their individual gratitude comment into the mike, then hang it on a pre-made tree. We then watched a 38 minutes Christmas movie and ate the sugared corn puffs I had made & bagged. Daemon and Rowan had spent the night Saturday night and Daemon worked feverishly on his Lego presents. Both had over 500 pieces in them. He is amazing with these and it is impressive to me that kids can figure these out! I don't think I could complete one successfully if my life depended on it.
After church, we then came home, Jaron, Summer and Staci joined us. We made haystacks and strawberry pretzel salad for dinner and sang happy birthday to Staci and Daemon. Whew! What a week-end. Feels like my old like creeping back in on me!
Thursday, November 17, 2011
Shopping Day November 16th
Last night I forgot to mention I went to a Relief Society Christmas Social with my mom at her ward. It was very simple, but good & their Bishop spoke with them. I got a call just as I was going to leave from my friend Monica inviting me to go to our ward's enrichment night! That is the 2nd time I have done that! Gone with mom, instead of supporting my own ward.
I really need to stay more aware of these enrichment activities and make a better effort to support them, socialize and learn from what they offer.
Today, I went shopping. I have learned how to tuck the JP drain out of sight pretty well and load up on Aleve and 1/2 a codeine and off I go. My pace is quite slow, I realize when compared to other walkers/shoppers, but slow and steady gets the job done right?
Tomorrow is Staci's birthday and I still need to figure out something for Sharing Time this Sunday. This Sunday is the Primary Program. Jim and Rowan are singing a duet, "Teach Me to Walk". I am in charge of Sharing Time, since I have not helped with the program at all, I feel like this is the least I can offer.
Another awesome friend, Shauna from work came by with a meal and a poinsettia. She is over the bereavement program at work and has always been a great listener. Once again, I am in awe of the support I continue to receive.
Off to shop. Jim goes with me to the mall. I have already bought Staci, some ReVital Lash, just looking for a few more items to augment the gift. I went into the brand new H&M store and end up with a gift certificate. I bought a silver zippered bag, thru in some socks, lotion and a card and called it good. The parking at the Fashion Place Mall is getting more difficult all the time! I wish I could take advantage of a handicap stall today. Jim needs to get back home to get ready for work, so I drop him off and venture out alone.
Next off to the Deseret Book store and Michaels. I pick up a DVD and some construction paper. I found a cute idea for Christmas gifts for the coordinating council @ work and the women I work with in the Primary presidency. I ran into a old friend, Jeanine Dodge. She has always been so fun to visit and talk with. She has retired from the hospital, but is working in home health. She has a massive bruise on her thigh, arm and face, from trying to help her husband with a trailer. It was good to see her and visit for a bit.
I fully intended to go next to DSW, the shoe store, but found myself running out of steam & I was quite hungry. I went home for a quick lunch and rest, then picked up Brielle, DJ and Rowan.
We ate the dinner that Shauna had brought over, then took DJ to scouts. Staci went with me and we headed off to Target to get new church shoes for Rowan and Brielle and a birthday present for DJ.
Let's just say, I slept well.
I really need to stay more aware of these enrichment activities and make a better effort to support them, socialize and learn from what they offer.
Today, I went shopping. I have learned how to tuck the JP drain out of sight pretty well and load up on Aleve and 1/2 a codeine and off I go. My pace is quite slow, I realize when compared to other walkers/shoppers, but slow and steady gets the job done right?
Tomorrow is Staci's birthday and I still need to figure out something for Sharing Time this Sunday. This Sunday is the Primary Program. Jim and Rowan are singing a duet, "Teach Me to Walk". I am in charge of Sharing Time, since I have not helped with the program at all, I feel like this is the least I can offer.
Another awesome friend, Shauna from work came by with a meal and a poinsettia. She is over the bereavement program at work and has always been a great listener. Once again, I am in awe of the support I continue to receive.
Off to shop. Jim goes with me to the mall. I have already bought Staci, some ReVital Lash, just looking for a few more items to augment the gift. I went into the brand new H&M store and end up with a gift certificate. I bought a silver zippered bag, thru in some socks, lotion and a card and called it good. The parking at the Fashion Place Mall is getting more difficult all the time! I wish I could take advantage of a handicap stall today. Jim needs to get back home to get ready for work, so I drop him off and venture out alone.
Next off to the Deseret Book store and Michaels. I pick up a DVD and some construction paper. I found a cute idea for Christmas gifts for the coordinating council @ work and the women I work with in the Primary presidency. I ran into a old friend, Jeanine Dodge. She has always been so fun to visit and talk with. She has retired from the hospital, but is working in home health. She has a massive bruise on her thigh, arm and face, from trying to help her husband with a trailer. It was good to see her and visit for a bit.
I fully intended to go next to DSW, the shoe store, but found myself running out of steam & I was quite hungry. I went home for a quick lunch and rest, then picked up Brielle, DJ and Rowan.
We ate the dinner that Shauna had brought over, then took DJ to scouts. Staci went with me and we headed off to Target to get new church shoes for Rowan and Brielle and a birthday present for DJ.
Let's just say, I slept well.
November 15th, Tuesday Jim's Turn for Uncertainity
I called this am and cancelled my appt. with Dr. Chen. I believe the purpose of the appt. was to pull my JP drain. The goal was to get the drainage to clear fluid and 15 ml or less per day. Reality is the fluid is still old blood and 35 to 45 ml's per day. The JP is still doing it's job and draining the hematoma, albeit I can tell the fluid is getting lighter and the amount is decreasing, but I feel like she will not pull it today, so why go in? I called the office and asked if I could have an appt. for later in the week. After a brief Q&A, they agreed to move the appt. to Friday.
Jim has an appt. with a dermatologist today to get a specific sore on the right side of his mustache area checked out. We are wary of cancer these days! The blemish/sore refuses to heal over the past 6 months. The appt. went well, they took a biopsy of this area and freeze dried several area's on his forehead, arms and back. We will need to wait a week for the results. Time to wait it out again!
I baby sat Kaia this afternoon, since she has been running a fever she could not go to her usual daycare. Sara had to take Daemon to his counseling appointment. Kaia is such a stinker and so smart. She loves to play in water and to mimic others, especially other children.
I find it amazing how fast the days are going by!
Jim has an appt. with a dermatologist today to get a specific sore on the right side of his mustache area checked out. We are wary of cancer these days! The blemish/sore refuses to heal over the past 6 months. The appt. went well, they took a biopsy of this area and freeze dried several area's on his forehead, arms and back. We will need to wait a week for the results. Time to wait it out again!
I baby sat Kaia this afternoon, since she has been running a fever she could not go to her usual daycare. Sara had to take Daemon to his counseling appointment. Kaia is such a stinker and so smart. She loves to play in water and to mimic others, especially other children.
I find it amazing how fast the days are going by!
November 14th A Cloud is Lifting
I can feel my old self emerging. It's most interesting, to come out of this cloud of fear, pain and doubt.
Today, another good friend from work, Claudia came by and brought me dinner and a gift. She is so generous, loving and kind.
I went to Bunco tonight, even drove myself. I must admit, driving is quite uncomfortable, but not impossible.
I won "Travel", so the evening paid for itself. Lot's of good food, good people and good laughs.
Today, another good friend from work, Claudia came by and brought me dinner and a gift. She is so generous, loving and kind.
I went to Bunco tonight, even drove myself. I must admit, driving is quite uncomfortable, but not impossible.
I won "Travel", so the evening paid for itself. Lot's of good food, good people and good laughs.
Friday, November 11, 2011
November 11th A New Day in my Known Recovery
It was such a beautiful sunny morning when I walked into the family room. I saw several flocks of geese flying over head and enjoyed the beauty of the morning and the mountains.
I am alone and enjoy the moment to sit with my book in the sun and read, read, read.
I feel like I have learned how loved and blessed that I am. That, with my lessons in patience I have gained more experience and this has lead to a greater capacity to have hope, love & have faith. I acknowledge I have a long road ahead of me with the virtue of patience!
I know that I would have learned to cope with whatever my outcome was, but I feel grateful that I dodged a big bullet.
I went to Seagull Book with Jim to look for a movie for Primary, then had a great visit with Teresa back at the house. She brought me..................... Homemade bread and wild rice chicken soup : )
I am alone and enjoy the moment to sit with my book in the sun and read, read, read.
I feel like I have learned how loved and blessed that I am. That, with my lessons in patience I have gained more experience and this has lead to a greater capacity to have hope, love & have faith. I acknowledge I have a long road ahead of me with the virtue of patience!
I know that I would have learned to cope with whatever my outcome was, but I feel grateful that I dodged a big bullet.
I went to Seagull Book with Jim to look for a movie for Primary, then had a great visit with Teresa back at the house. She brought me..................... Homemade bread and wild rice chicken soup : )
November 10th Good News Day< A month of waiting is over!
Feeling sore, but better every day. Morning is hardest, after lying still all night I am stiff and sore, just like any surgery.
3pm FINALLY arrived. Jim, Mom, Summer and myself took off for appt. with oncologist.
Upon arrival to the office we were told my appt. had been scheduled for 2:15. Seriously??
I've been watching the clock all day, slowly ticking away. I was So glad that I had brought my packet with me that had the time on it, that their staff had written. In addition, I stated that I had not received a reminder phone call on the 9th or this could have been corrected at that point. I was firm that I did not want to wait another week for this appt. After a few minutes of waiting they verified that the staff member that had made my appt. was a "temp" and had made several mistakes. They agreed to meet with me. We had to wait over an hour, but it was worth it. This also allowed sister Staci to finish up her shift and join the clan.
Dr. Litton spent an hour with us. The visit was to focus on what the 4 invasive biopsies meant for me, not the DCIS. He wrote 3 pages of diagrams, pictures and notes explaining the biology of cancer, risk factors and treatment options. He took us on an emotional roller coaster ride, but I enjoyed learning all he was offering. It was like getting the puzzle pieces to all fit together.
The short version of his visit is the following.There are 4 risk factors they look at when determining treatment
1. Size of the invasive cancer.
2. Lymph Node findings
3. Hormone and HER2 receptor findings
4. Tumor cell features ( Grade of the cancer 1-3 )
My Findings:
1. Low Risk All 4 of my biopsies were well less than 1 cm. They are identified as "microinvasive". He described my situation as the large DCIS mass as a car in the garage idling. Microinvasion, indicates the car is backing out of the drive way. "Invasive" cancer is on the street and possibly the free way (systemic ).
2. Low Risk All 3 of the axilla nodes they pulled were negative. ( Not on the freeway )
3. High Risk When looking at these 3 receptor cells, it is best to have positive estrogen and progesterone receptors, mine were negative. Conversely, it is best to have a negative HER2 receptor, mine was positive
4. High Risk My microinvasive cancer was a Grade 3, which is fast growing and follows the result of the positive HER2 finding.
He said that within 2 months, my outcome would have been different. Once again I am blessed this was discovered so early!
So NOW what? 50/50 on the risk factors!
Fortunately, the top 2 risk factors weigh heavier than the bottom two. So it tipped the scale in my favor!
Mastectomy is the answer with NO follow up therapy! I feel so blessed and grateful!
There was an audible sigh of relief in the room. Jim said, " That's what I've been telling her, I just didn't have any thing to back me up!" I was never so happy for him to be right!
I have a 15-20% chance of re-occurence in the left breast. Careful screening will be done. I meet with Dr. Litton again in 5 months to set this up.
So, I can now focus on my immediate future! Get the hematoma healed up, drain pulled and schedule appt.'s/surgeries to get the "creature" off my chest and most importantly getting my life back. Playing with grandkids, shopping, getting ready for Christmas, getting back to work, getting back to church, re-gaining my energy/strength, cooking, actually getting something done on the FMLA leave, like cleaning out drawers, I am dizzy and grateful with the possibilities! And being a better person!!
3pm FINALLY arrived. Jim, Mom, Summer and myself took off for appt. with oncologist.
Upon arrival to the office we were told my appt. had been scheduled for 2:15. Seriously??
I've been watching the clock all day, slowly ticking away. I was So glad that I had brought my packet with me that had the time on it, that their staff had written. In addition, I stated that I had not received a reminder phone call on the 9th or this could have been corrected at that point. I was firm that I did not want to wait another week for this appt. After a few minutes of waiting they verified that the staff member that had made my appt. was a "temp" and had made several mistakes. They agreed to meet with me. We had to wait over an hour, but it was worth it. This also allowed sister Staci to finish up her shift and join the clan.
Dr. Litton spent an hour with us. The visit was to focus on what the 4 invasive biopsies meant for me, not the DCIS. He wrote 3 pages of diagrams, pictures and notes explaining the biology of cancer, risk factors and treatment options. He took us on an emotional roller coaster ride, but I enjoyed learning all he was offering. It was like getting the puzzle pieces to all fit together.
The short version of his visit is the following.There are 4 risk factors they look at when determining treatment
1. Size of the invasive cancer.
2. Lymph Node findings
3. Hormone and HER2 receptor findings
4. Tumor cell features ( Grade of the cancer 1-3 )
My Findings:
1. Low Risk All 4 of my biopsies were well less than 1 cm. They are identified as "microinvasive". He described my situation as the large DCIS mass as a car in the garage idling. Microinvasion, indicates the car is backing out of the drive way. "Invasive" cancer is on the street and possibly the free way (systemic ).
2. Low Risk All 3 of the axilla nodes they pulled were negative. ( Not on the freeway )
3. High Risk When looking at these 3 receptor cells, it is best to have positive estrogen and progesterone receptors, mine were negative. Conversely, it is best to have a negative HER2 receptor, mine was positive
4. High Risk My microinvasive cancer was a Grade 3, which is fast growing and follows the result of the positive HER2 finding.
He said that within 2 months, my outcome would have been different. Once again I am blessed this was discovered so early!
So NOW what? 50/50 on the risk factors!
Fortunately, the top 2 risk factors weigh heavier than the bottom two. So it tipped the scale in my favor!
Mastectomy is the answer with NO follow up therapy! I feel so blessed and grateful!
There was an audible sigh of relief in the room. Jim said, " That's what I've been telling her, I just didn't have any thing to back me up!" I was never so happy for him to be right!
I have a 15-20% chance of re-occurence in the left breast. Careful screening will be done. I meet with Dr. Litton again in 5 months to set this up.
So, I can now focus on my immediate future! Get the hematoma healed up, drain pulled and schedule appt.'s/surgeries to get the "creature" off my chest and most importantly getting my life back. Playing with grandkids, shopping, getting ready for Christmas, getting back to work, getting back to church, re-gaining my energy/strength, cooking, actually getting something done on the FMLA leave, like cleaning out drawers, I am dizzy and grateful with the possibilities! And being a better person!!
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
It's Cookie Day! Wednesday Nov. 9th
Stayed home all day without a sitter. I did very well, I might add.
Colleen and Bonnie came my with 1st plate of cookies for the day as well as another amazing dinner for tonight & a beautiful scarf. They stayed and visited for a while. I felt good, so it was nice to visit.
About 1 1/2 hours later, Lucinda, a friend from high school and my old ward came over with a plate of cookies! We also visited for quite a while. It was fun to chat and get caught up with both of our lives.
I had every intention of driving out to get DJ and Ro, which is what I do every Wed. so DJ can attend scouts, when I got a series of phone calls tying me up on the phone for 45-60 minutes. By the time I got off the phone it was too late to drive out. I called Sara and she agreed to bring DJ, Ro and Rachel over for a visit, so DJ could go to scouts. I bribed her with an awesome home made chicken pie : ). I also had very soft chewy brownies and cookies. Brielle wanted to make more cookies, if you can believe it!
After the kids left, I got a visit from a darling neighbor, Jen, who brought.............. Guess what??????
Cookies!!!! We fortunately are a cookie eating family. Have no fear everyone of these cookies will be eaten. I think it was Sunday night, my dad brought over cookies as well. Not one has gone to waste.
I am glad I had a good day. It's amazing to me, that the timing of the visitors and cookies worked out so well, with my appetite and energy level. The Codeine is working well. I am only taking 1/2 of a pill @ a time, so I am still being very cautious.
PS
Both Sara and Staci were appalled that I thought I could drive myself around tonight. They think I don't know how loopy I am. I personally was more worried about being sore and moving my arm, than being loopy.
Well, I am now all caught up with my journaling. Yeah! It is probably a good thing I get these long breaks in between bits of life changing news. It gives me time to mentally adjust and more forward with better perspective and strength.
Let's see what tomorrow brings.
Colleen and Bonnie came my with 1st plate of cookies for the day as well as another amazing dinner for tonight & a beautiful scarf. They stayed and visited for a while. I felt good, so it was nice to visit.
About 1 1/2 hours later, Lucinda, a friend from high school and my old ward came over with a plate of cookies! We also visited for quite a while. It was fun to chat and get caught up with both of our lives.
I had every intention of driving out to get DJ and Ro, which is what I do every Wed. so DJ can attend scouts, when I got a series of phone calls tying me up on the phone for 45-60 minutes. By the time I got off the phone it was too late to drive out. I called Sara and she agreed to bring DJ, Ro and Rachel over for a visit, so DJ could go to scouts. I bribed her with an awesome home made chicken pie : ). I also had very soft chewy brownies and cookies. Brielle wanted to make more cookies, if you can believe it!
After the kids left, I got a visit from a darling neighbor, Jen, who brought.............. Guess what??????
Cookies!!!! We fortunately are a cookie eating family. Have no fear everyone of these cookies will be eaten. I think it was Sunday night, my dad brought over cookies as well. Not one has gone to waste.
I am glad I had a good day. It's amazing to me, that the timing of the visitors and cookies worked out so well, with my appetite and energy level. The Codeine is working well. I am only taking 1/2 of a pill @ a time, so I am still being very cautious.
PS
Both Sara and Staci were appalled that I thought I could drive myself around tonight. They think I don't know how loopy I am. I personally was more worried about being sore and moving my arm, than being loopy.
Well, I am now all caught up with my journaling. Yeah! It is probably a good thing I get these long breaks in between bits of life changing news. It gives me time to mentally adjust and more forward with better perspective and strength.
Let's see what tomorrow brings.
Big Day Out Tuesday Nov. 8th
I had two doctor appt.'s today. I was hopeful, maybe we would get some final answers today. No such luck!
Mom and Staci picked me up @ 0900. We went to L&D so I could post the results of an audit & drop off a few thank you cards.
Waited 1 hr. 40 minutes to see Dr. Price. He is nice enough, but running way behind and anxious to being get out of town again. The nurse gave me some Tylenol, because she said I looked like I was hurting. You think? Pain has been my constant companion now for 7 or 8 days & I don't like pain meds. Dr. Price said he would call Dr. Linton, the oncologist, to make sure my case is reviewed Thursday morning at the tumor board & that I need to keep the appt. The appt. with Dr. Linton is tomorrow. Dr. Price won't say what he thinks oncology will prescribe, but he thinks I may get out of the radiation. Jim would be happy to hear that!! He told me the HER2 receptor was positive, which is not necessarily good. The progesterone and estrogen receptors came out out negative again so I still don't think I am a candidate for the hormone therapy.
Since it was so late when we left Dr. Price , we ate lunch in the cafeteria. I ran into an old nurse friend that had breast cancer 7 years ago. She shared with me her experience and story and other nurses that have had this journey. Man, it's everywhere.We have an epidemic going on!
I came home and took a nap. Mom and Staci went shopping.
Got up and went to see Dr. Chen, the plastic surgeon, with Jim, mom and Staci. She is always very nice and thorough. She said I had excessive bruising and had a hematoma. My drain is still putting out quite a bit of bloody fluid, so she will not pull it today, since it is helping to drain the hematoma. I am glad it is there, because all that leaking blood inside would be adding to my discomfort. I am very tender, on the upper right quadrant of my 'creature', under my armpit and posterior part of my arm down to my elbow. My nerve endings feel on fire much of the time in this area. Other wise I feel like my 'creature' is a tight band sitting on my chest. I feel like I am engorged with milk on both sides and having a 'let down'. Those sensations are common with breast augmentations though.
The Dr. suggests I massage the area, and keep working my right arm to keep the strength in it. She also will not try to guess what my future plan of care will be. She said if the margins of the invasive carcinoma were on the anterior side they may recommend more skin dissection. She also mentioned another hormonal drug that sounded something like Hermoxifin. If I have radiation she will not do any thing with re-construction until it is all over. The reason for this is to see how much the skin heals and if I have bad adhesions from the radiation & how the cavity for the implant looks. She showed me where the port is located in the breast expanders for my "tank ups". Unfortunately they are under the skin, so sounds like I will be subject to more pokes in my future. I will see her in a week again.
Jim remains confident that I will not need any more intervention than the mastectomy. We all pray he is right.
My mood has been stable all day. I got more Zofran from Dr. Price and I am going to try Tylenol with Codeine for pain now.
I had a totally awesome dinner brought over by Diane and Vee Butterfield. It tasted so good! I luckily had a good appetite that night. I am soooooo surrounded by the greatest neighbors, friends and family.
Thank you!!!!
Mom and Staci picked me up @ 0900. We went to L&D so I could post the results of an audit & drop off a few thank you cards.
Waited 1 hr. 40 minutes to see Dr. Price. He is nice enough, but running way behind and anxious to being get out of town again. The nurse gave me some Tylenol, because she said I looked like I was hurting. You think? Pain has been my constant companion now for 7 or 8 days & I don't like pain meds. Dr. Price said he would call Dr. Linton, the oncologist, to make sure my case is reviewed Thursday morning at the tumor board & that I need to keep the appt. The appt. with Dr. Linton is tomorrow. Dr. Price won't say what he thinks oncology will prescribe, but he thinks I may get out of the radiation. Jim would be happy to hear that!! He told me the HER2 receptor was positive, which is not necessarily good. The progesterone and estrogen receptors came out out negative again so I still don't think I am a candidate for the hormone therapy.
Since it was so late when we left Dr. Price , we ate lunch in the cafeteria. I ran into an old nurse friend that had breast cancer 7 years ago. She shared with me her experience and story and other nurses that have had this journey. Man, it's everywhere.We have an epidemic going on!
I came home and took a nap. Mom and Staci went shopping.
Got up and went to see Dr. Chen, the plastic surgeon, with Jim, mom and Staci. She is always very nice and thorough. She said I had excessive bruising and had a hematoma. My drain is still putting out quite a bit of bloody fluid, so she will not pull it today, since it is helping to drain the hematoma. I am glad it is there, because all that leaking blood inside would be adding to my discomfort. I am very tender, on the upper right quadrant of my 'creature', under my armpit and posterior part of my arm down to my elbow. My nerve endings feel on fire much of the time in this area. Other wise I feel like my 'creature' is a tight band sitting on my chest. I feel like I am engorged with milk on both sides and having a 'let down'. Those sensations are common with breast augmentations though.
The Dr. suggests I massage the area, and keep working my right arm to keep the strength in it. She also will not try to guess what my future plan of care will be. She said if the margins of the invasive carcinoma were on the anterior side they may recommend more skin dissection. She also mentioned another hormonal drug that sounded something like Hermoxifin. If I have radiation she will not do any thing with re-construction until it is all over. The reason for this is to see how much the skin heals and if I have bad adhesions from the radiation & how the cavity for the implant looks. She showed me where the port is located in the breast expanders for my "tank ups". Unfortunately they are under the skin, so sounds like I will be subject to more pokes in my future. I will see her in a week again.
Jim remains confident that I will not need any more intervention than the mastectomy. We all pray he is right.
My mood has been stable all day. I got more Zofran from Dr. Price and I am going to try Tylenol with Codeine for pain now.
I had a totally awesome dinner brought over by Diane and Vee Butterfield. It tasted so good! I luckily had a good appetite that night. I am soooooo surrounded by the greatest neighbors, friends and family.
Thank you!!!!
Sunday and Monday November 6th & 7th
Now that it is Wednesday I am quickly losing track of days, so it's a challenge to journal. I just looked back and saw that it snowed on Saturday. I had already forgotten that! In fact, I thought tonight I was still in October. Man, I think I need a MRI of my brain! Why would I ever want to repeat October of 2011?
My memory of Sunday was it was a nice day, nausea off and on. Jenni and Josh and their cute kids came for a visit. They vacillated between bringing me a Subway gift card or a Starbucks gift card. They decided on the Subway card. Actually was a good call, which surprised Josh. When I get my appetite back good and strong I want to get a subway breakfast one morning. I like those! Brielle was delighted to have company and the three kids went outside to make a snowman.
The Yorganson brother's came over and administered the sacrament to me. I love when they do that! It's the best sacrament ever. I hear the Primary program practice was pretty rough. Getting ready for a primary sacrament is a true test of Faith! We ate Teresa's really yummy honey lime Enchilda's and some Mexican rice Jim made up.
Monday
I struggled with nausea most of the day. I will not take the Lortab. It is making me crazy. I only have one Zofran left and I am saving it for night time. Sara & Rob have under loaded their extra pain pills on me, hoping I can find something I can tolerate. I asked Staci to look them all up. I am not familiar with some of them and at this point I am scared of all of them.
Colleen came to visit and brought creamy vegetable soup. I do remember eating it later in the evening with my Zofran and it was really, really good.
Lon, our financial advisor and friend came over to see me in the evening and brought Great Harvest Bread and jam. He was really trying to visit the Blacks, but they are struggling with a terrible flu. It was good to see him.
I think me and my 'creature' were just a big lump all day.
My memory of Sunday was it was a nice day, nausea off and on. Jenni and Josh and their cute kids came for a visit. They vacillated between bringing me a Subway gift card or a Starbucks gift card. They decided on the Subway card. Actually was a good call, which surprised Josh. When I get my appetite back good and strong I want to get a subway breakfast one morning. I like those! Brielle was delighted to have company and the three kids went outside to make a snowman.
The Yorganson brother's came over and administered the sacrament to me. I love when they do that! It's the best sacrament ever. I hear the Primary program practice was pretty rough. Getting ready for a primary sacrament is a true test of Faith! We ate Teresa's really yummy honey lime Enchilda's and some Mexican rice Jim made up.
Monday
I struggled with nausea most of the day. I will not take the Lortab. It is making me crazy. I only have one Zofran left and I am saving it for night time. Sara & Rob have under loaded their extra pain pills on me, hoping I can find something I can tolerate. I asked Staci to look them all up. I am not familiar with some of them and at this point I am scared of all of them.
Colleen came to visit and brought creamy vegetable soup. I do remember eating it later in the evening with my Zofran and it was really, really good.
Lon, our financial advisor and friend came over to see me in the evening and brought Great Harvest Bread and jam. He was really trying to visit the Blacks, but they are struggling with a terrible flu. It was good to see him.
I think me and my 'creature' were just a big lump all day.
Sunday, November 6, 2011
Snowy Saturday
Welcome Winter!
Beautiful clean sky's, several inches of snow on the ground.
As I sit in the sun, I look over at the fun flowers I have received. The newest addition are some that Marci and Curtis brought over. Marci and her sister are very gifted artists & the cutest mom's. Marci brought over a cloth flower bouquet that her sister sells on Etsy. It is quite amazing and fits right in with the other arrangements on my mantle. They came by last night, with their 3 three kids, so cute! Two of the 3 kids were born on birthdays that we have. Kennedy will be 8 years old on November 24th (my birthday) and Grady will be a 1 year old on November 17th, Staci's birthday! It's nice to keep all these birthdays so easy. They are very accomodating like that! :)
Jim, Mom and I went up to LDSH to visit my niece. She has been hospitalized with a bowel resection due to complication with Krohns Disease. It was a good visit, it was good to see her and her husband again. Great people. I wish her the very best in dealing with this disease. She is strong and healthy and has done well over the past 18 years since her original dx (diagnosis).
From the hospital we went to Sara's house to visit with my Zaugg grandchildren. DJ and Ro were with their father. We collected this year's school pictures, then headed out. I became very nauseated and tired.
Came home and took a nap, then ate dinner. I struggled with nausea the rest of the evening. I don't think I should have eaten. Very discouraging. I hate nausea.
Jim finally tucked me in, then read to me from my " I need thee every hour book". It was very comforting & I slept well with the aide of Ambien & comforting words of the atonement in my head. I'm afraid of the Lorab (though my children keep lecturing me about staying on top of my pain). But I still have my other problem!!
Beautiful clean sky's, several inches of snow on the ground.
As I sit in the sun, I look over at the fun flowers I have received. The newest addition are some that Marci and Curtis brought over. Marci and her sister are very gifted artists & the cutest mom's. Marci brought over a cloth flower bouquet that her sister sells on Etsy. It is quite amazing and fits right in with the other arrangements on my mantle. They came by last night, with their 3 three kids, so cute! Two of the 3 kids were born on birthdays that we have. Kennedy will be 8 years old on November 24th (my birthday) and Grady will be a 1 year old on November 17th, Staci's birthday! It's nice to keep all these birthdays so easy. They are very accomodating like that! :)
Jim, Mom and I went up to LDSH to visit my niece. She has been hospitalized with a bowel resection due to complication with Krohns Disease. It was a good visit, it was good to see her and her husband again. Great people. I wish her the very best in dealing with this disease. She is strong and healthy and has done well over the past 18 years since her original dx (diagnosis).
From the hospital we went to Sara's house to visit with my Zaugg grandchildren. DJ and Ro were with their father. We collected this year's school pictures, then headed out. I became very nauseated and tired.
Came home and took a nap, then ate dinner. I struggled with nausea the rest of the evening. I don't think I should have eaten. Very discouraging. I hate nausea.
Jim finally tucked me in, then read to me from my " I need thee every hour book". It was very comforting & I slept well with the aide of Ambien & comforting words of the atonement in my head. I'm afraid of the Lorab (though my children keep lecturing me about staying on top of my pain). But I still have my other problem!!
Saturday, November 5, 2011
Nov. 3rd & 4th from perspective on Saturday am.
Thursday, I received a message on my phone from the surgeons office to call them back regarding the pathology report. I went on line instead and read the report repeatedly. The report was very thorough, but there is danger in trying to read, or better yet, trying to 'read things into' a report.
There were 3 axilla nodes removed and all 3 were negative, which is great. The microcalcification mass was 11cmX10cmX3.5cm in size, which is huge. To demonstrate just how huge that is, Jim made a clay model for Staci and Summer, though he says the thickness is not accurate.
There were 19 biopsies done, 15 of the biopsies showed the Comedo DCIS, and 4 of the biopsies showed microinvasive ductual carcinoma. All were measured within 0.1cm or less to the margin. The margins were declared 'free of tumor'. There were samples sent for the progesterone, estrogen and HER2 receptor cells once again. My diagnosed tumor was negative for these receptor cells, which basically means I would not be a good candidate for the cancer hormone treatment that they offer.
I then called the office back and asked if there was any significance to the 4 invasive slides. The nurse told me she wasn't certain, but felt like it meant a change in my follow up care plan would need to occur and that I should make an appt. with the oncologist. She said it typically takes 3-4 weeks to to get in. She told me my case had not made it to the tumor board that morning, because the results had come back too late, but would be discussed next Thursday. I asked if I could/should cancel my appt with the surgeon on Tuesday, until after it had gone to the tumor board. She said, no he will want to look at the incisions. Heck, I can look at the incisions. I needed different information! Ok, fine. I will find out my needed information in another avenue. Patience is not one of my virtues!
Well let's just say I was not prepared to hear the words "a change to my follow up plan of care". I marched over to the IMC/Huntsman Cancer Center with mom and Staci in tow. I had several contained embarassing melt downs in the cancer library and the oncologist office. Everyone that had to deal with me was very appropriate. No offense, but I just don't want to be a patient in the waiting room of an oncologist.
Long story short, I did get an appt. with an oncologist next Thursday. I am hoping I can cancel it after I see Dr. Price, the surgeon on Tuesday. I called Dr. Brown, my OB, and she did talk with me for quite a while. She also felt like radiation may be in my future, but not chemo. She wants me to get some Milk of Magnesia. Well off the subject, but that is another problem I am having. Jim is certain, the plan of care will NOT be changing and all I need to really worry about is the Milk of Mag problem.
I received more love and support in the afternoon. Cheri came to visit and brought me a Chai tea, frozen dinner and lotion & a card from my PCA staff. Colleen came over to visit in the evening. She got me caught up with work & brought a beautiful bracelet from Trina. She is an awesome friend. Colleen's face was funny because she had been to the dermatologist where they had treated her with liquid nitrogen & now her face was reddeded her up a bit.
Marlene and Kristi brought in dinner & their love. AVH Women's Center sent a planter, or was that Wed.?????
What I am saying is, I am so loved and supported and grateful, and of course I knew that there may be a change in the plan in care that's what the pathology report is for. I am just evolving and learning about myself that I am still in denial, or that I will only play this game with certain parameters. Once again, loss of control is icky. I am already tired of all of this!
Friday, I stayed down and stayed sad. Staci & Bruce offered to bring in fajita's for dinner & a funny movie. I received a gorgeous planter from the IMC. Mom came over to spend the day with me. Her and Brielle burnt popcorn, so the house was smelling interesting, when a SECOND dinner showed up, which was embarrassing. I didn't know I was getting more dinners from the ward than the 3 nights. This dinner came from some more of my cute neighbors. Chicken Cordon Bleu, yummy! For sure my family and I are loved and WELL fed.
I'm not sure what to do about pain control. I am always stingy with things, so thus I am with pain medication for myself. I was hurting quite bad when I went to bed, which makes me more emotional. I vow tomorrow to stay on top of this pain and my emotions. I went to bed reading my book "I Need Thee Every Hour". Colleen had text'ed earlier in the evening with a good quote from the book. I also woke this morning early and picked up the book and started reading.
Today, I feel good, much better, much stronger. I like these days better!
There were 3 axilla nodes removed and all 3 were negative, which is great. The microcalcification mass was 11cmX10cmX3.5cm in size, which is huge. To demonstrate just how huge that is, Jim made a clay model for Staci and Summer, though he says the thickness is not accurate.
There were 19 biopsies done, 15 of the biopsies showed the Comedo DCIS, and 4 of the biopsies showed microinvasive ductual carcinoma. All were measured within 0.1cm or less to the margin. The margins were declared 'free of tumor'. There were samples sent for the progesterone, estrogen and HER2 receptor cells once again. My diagnosed tumor was negative for these receptor cells, which basically means I would not be a good candidate for the cancer hormone treatment that they offer.
I then called the office back and asked if there was any significance to the 4 invasive slides. The nurse told me she wasn't certain, but felt like it meant a change in my follow up care plan would need to occur and that I should make an appt. with the oncologist. She said it typically takes 3-4 weeks to to get in. She told me my case had not made it to the tumor board that morning, because the results had come back too late, but would be discussed next Thursday. I asked if I could/should cancel my appt with the surgeon on Tuesday, until after it had gone to the tumor board. She said, no he will want to look at the incisions. Heck, I can look at the incisions. I needed different information! Ok, fine. I will find out my needed information in another avenue. Patience is not one of my virtues!
Well let's just say I was not prepared to hear the words "a change to my follow up plan of care". I marched over to the IMC/Huntsman Cancer Center with mom and Staci in tow. I had several contained embarassing melt downs in the cancer library and the oncologist office. Everyone that had to deal with me was very appropriate. No offense, but I just don't want to be a patient in the waiting room of an oncologist.
Long story short, I did get an appt. with an oncologist next Thursday. I am hoping I can cancel it after I see Dr. Price, the surgeon on Tuesday. I called Dr. Brown, my OB, and she did talk with me for quite a while. She also felt like radiation may be in my future, but not chemo. She wants me to get some Milk of Magnesia. Well off the subject, but that is another problem I am having. Jim is certain, the plan of care will NOT be changing and all I need to really worry about is the Milk of Mag problem.
I received more love and support in the afternoon. Cheri came to visit and brought me a Chai tea, frozen dinner and lotion & a card from my PCA staff. Colleen came over to visit in the evening. She got me caught up with work & brought a beautiful bracelet from Trina. She is an awesome friend. Colleen's face was funny because she had been to the dermatologist where they had treated her with liquid nitrogen & now her face was reddeded her up a bit.
Marlene and Kristi brought in dinner & their love. AVH Women's Center sent a planter, or was that Wed.?????
What I am saying is, I am so loved and supported and grateful, and of course I knew that there may be a change in the plan in care that's what the pathology report is for. I am just evolving and learning about myself that I am still in denial, or that I will only play this game with certain parameters. Once again, loss of control is icky. I am already tired of all of this!
Friday, I stayed down and stayed sad. Staci & Bruce offered to bring in fajita's for dinner & a funny movie. I received a gorgeous planter from the IMC. Mom came over to spend the day with me. Her and Brielle burnt popcorn, so the house was smelling interesting, when a SECOND dinner showed up, which was embarrassing. I didn't know I was getting more dinners from the ward than the 3 nights. This dinner came from some more of my cute neighbors. Chicken Cordon Bleu, yummy! For sure my family and I are loved and WELL fed.
I'm not sure what to do about pain control. I am always stingy with things, so thus I am with pain medication for myself. I was hurting quite bad when I went to bed, which makes me more emotional. I vow tomorrow to stay on top of this pain and my emotions. I went to bed reading my book "I Need Thee Every Hour". Colleen had text'ed earlier in the evening with a good quote from the book. I also woke this morning early and picked up the book and started reading.
Today, I feel good, much better, much stronger. I like these days better!
Thursday, November 3, 2011
November 3rd Thursday
So this was another melt down day. I received my pathology report...
Since I just wrote 4 days worth of blogs and it is now 2300 at night, & I don't feel like rehearsing the day right now, I think I will try it tomorrow, I will be less emotional and have a better perspective.
This is what you call a cliff hanger entry, right?
Since I just wrote 4 days worth of blogs and it is now 2300 at night, & I don't feel like rehearsing the day right now, I think I will try it tomorrow, I will be less emotional and have a better perspective.
This is what you call a cliff hanger entry, right?
November 2nd Wednesday
Summer and mom baby sat me. I mostly sat around all day. Dad came over for dinner, which was provided by my GREAT visiting teachers, along with some cozy socks. Teresa came by for a visit and brought some frozen enchilada's for us to eat at a later date and some of her amazing sugar cookies. Two of them were very special. They were my new boobie cookies.
You've got to see the picture to appreciate it.
My house is looking like a funeral parlor, lots of flowers and planters.
Breast Cancer is 98% curable, right?????
You've got to see the picture to appreciate it.
My house is looking like a funeral parlor, lots of flowers and planters.
Breast Cancer is 98% curable, right?????
November 1st
Came home from the hospital around 1400 or 1500. The day shift staff not as impressive as the night shift had been. Jim went into work late. Summer and grandma Joan spent the evening with me, as well as Staci. I never napped all day. Too high strung.
Heather and Shauna brought over a delicious dinner and planter. They are two very busy young mothers, I felt very appreciative, but a bit guilty. I waited too long to take pain meds, so had to work on getting myself medicated and relaxed with music and good drugs, before I could finally fall asleep, around 1230 am. Summer & Staci very doting. So cute!
Heather and Shauna brought over a delicious dinner and planter. They are two very busy young mothers, I felt very appreciative, but a bit guilty. I waited too long to take pain meds, so had to work on getting myself medicated and relaxed with music and good drugs, before I could finally fall asleep, around 1230 am. Summer & Staci very doting. So cute!
Halloween 2011
Lots of tricks and treats today.
I started off with several melt downs before leaving for the hospital. Jim was consoling and comforting. I still don't want to do this and can't believe I am submitting myself to this.
I arrived @ 0900, Summer arrived shortly after, followed by Staci, then mom, then Bruce and Staci. They told me 2 visitors, but they were good with three, then after my radioactive dye injection they put us in a room with lazy boy chairs to wait it out and let the crowd of support in. Sis Staci showed up with a PINK fleece breast cancer awareness blanket. It was very timely, because the room was cold & it was nice to have something soft to snuggle up to. She said that making the blanket had been healing for her.
You know how it is with hospitals, 'hurry up and wait". I didn't go for the radio active injection until 1100. The treat of this part was the hulk/hunk of an orderly that pushed me down the long walk to the Breast Care Center. They let Jim go along for the experience. Jim made the comment that my orderly 'has done a few more push ups than him." This made me laugh.
We were told the surgery was to start at 1245. Then the nurse casually mentioned a little later that the OR was running behind schedule and it would be a little longer. At 1330, Summer went out to the desk to find out what a 'little later" meant. She was told around 1500, but announced the good news was she had been given 6 meal tickets, so they could all go to the cafeteria for some lunch. Sis Staci stayed behind with me, but it was good to get them all out of the freezing cold room and let them eat and kill some time.
At 1430, the nurse showed up and said they were ready for me. The family was called back in.
Hulk the Orderly showed up again and he showed the family the waiting room, then he let Jim stay with me. Dr. Chen came in and marked me up with a pen. She also started reviewing a bunch of my options again, which I was not really ready to hear, or change my mind moments before going to surgery. My anesthesiologist, Dr. sweet Myers also came in to talk with both of us. We decided not use Versed, so my mind would be clearer. My right boob had a big "Boo!" on it, instead of the word "yes". My sister had put a big spider in my hair. We were trying to 'treat' the OR team.
After kissing Jim good-bye I walked into the OR room instead of being wheeled in. The OR team was surprised and said, "Well look at you, all in charge and everything". They helped me get comfortable then burned my arm off with the propofol infusion.
Michael Jackson, seriously how could you have liked that stuff?
I am told both surgeries went well. The axillary lymph nodes were hard to access due to adhesions, but the good news were they were all 3 negative. The old 23 year old implants came out easily for them. Dr Chen's work went good as well. I was only in recovery for a short time, then off to the 10th floor.
Our awesome neighbors made dinner for the family and took over the trick or treating obligations for us. The grandkids came in for a short visit to show off their costumes, then off to sleep I went, Yeah right!
I had a LONG sleep less night. It's really hard for me to sleep in a hospital and also I am not a back sleeper. The pain/discomfort of the surgery didn't help me get settle down either. The nursing staff was great on the night shift. They did their job and didn't allow any sleep time. You have to be a nurse to understand that one!
I started off with several melt downs before leaving for the hospital. Jim was consoling and comforting. I still don't want to do this and can't believe I am submitting myself to this.
I arrived @ 0900, Summer arrived shortly after, followed by Staci, then mom, then Bruce and Staci. They told me 2 visitors, but they were good with three, then after my radioactive dye injection they put us in a room with lazy boy chairs to wait it out and let the crowd of support in. Sis Staci showed up with a PINK fleece breast cancer awareness blanket. It was very timely, because the room was cold & it was nice to have something soft to snuggle up to. She said that making the blanket had been healing for her.
You know how it is with hospitals, 'hurry up and wait". I didn't go for the radio active injection until 1100. The treat of this part was the hulk/hunk of an orderly that pushed me down the long walk to the Breast Care Center. They let Jim go along for the experience. Jim made the comment that my orderly 'has done a few more push ups than him." This made me laugh.
We were told the surgery was to start at 1245. Then the nurse casually mentioned a little later that the OR was running behind schedule and it would be a little longer. At 1330, Summer went out to the desk to find out what a 'little later" meant. She was told around 1500, but announced the good news was she had been given 6 meal tickets, so they could all go to the cafeteria for some lunch. Sis Staci stayed behind with me, but it was good to get them all out of the freezing cold room and let them eat and kill some time.
At 1430, the nurse showed up and said they were ready for me. The family was called back in.
Hulk the Orderly showed up again and he showed the family the waiting room, then he let Jim stay with me. Dr. Chen came in and marked me up with a pen. She also started reviewing a bunch of my options again, which I was not really ready to hear, or change my mind moments before going to surgery. My anesthesiologist, Dr. sweet Myers also came in to talk with both of us. We decided not use Versed, so my mind would be clearer. My right boob had a big "Boo!" on it, instead of the word "yes". My sister had put a big spider in my hair. We were trying to 'treat' the OR team.
After kissing Jim good-bye I walked into the OR room instead of being wheeled in. The OR team was surprised and said, "Well look at you, all in charge and everything". They helped me get comfortable then burned my arm off with the propofol infusion.
Michael Jackson, seriously how could you have liked that stuff?
I am told both surgeries went well. The axillary lymph nodes were hard to access due to adhesions, but the good news were they were all 3 negative. The old 23 year old implants came out easily for them. Dr Chen's work went good as well. I was only in recovery for a short time, then off to the 10th floor.
Our awesome neighbors made dinner for the family and took over the trick or treating obligations for us. The grandkids came in for a short visit to show off their costumes, then off to sleep I went, Yeah right!
I had a LONG sleep less night. It's really hard for me to sleep in a hospital and also I am not a back sleeper. The pain/discomfort of the surgery didn't help me get settle down either. The nursing staff was great on the night shift. They did their job and didn't allow any sleep time. You have to be a nurse to understand that one!
October 30th Sunday
Today, maybe should have been a hard day, the day before surgery. Instead it was quite nice. All my family came over for our usual Sunday dinner after church. Sara and Rob did the cooking today, which was a huge help with keeping my stress level down and it was WAY Yummy!! Jim is the one struggling with emotions today. He is my rock, but every once in a while a rock has to weep. He asked his 12 year old Primary class to keep me in their prayers this week and they were all touched by his vulnerability. Summer was a wreck today as well, she also is my rock, but she is easier to see thru.
The girls planned a surprise for me today. While I was in on my closet floor switching out summer shoes for winter ones and complaining about 'pink mania fuss' they (and I mean the entire lot of them, boys included) were switching into pink support cancer awareness shirts which they had just recently purchased. When I walked out to the family room, there they were grinning ear to ear with their matching shirts. You just gotta love them! Of course then I had to sport my new pink shirt and we went out on the front porch, where our cute neighbor Cory did his best to get the wild family to hold still for a new family picture.
After dinner, Bishop Christopherson, Brother Black, Jim and Dad all gathered around to give me a priesthood blessing. Dad anointed the blessing and the Bishop gave it. It meant a lot to me and brought me great peace. I slept well.
The girls planned a surprise for me today. While I was in on my closet floor switching out summer shoes for winter ones and complaining about 'pink mania fuss' they (and I mean the entire lot of them, boys included) were switching into pink support cancer awareness shirts which they had just recently purchased. When I walked out to the family room, there they were grinning ear to ear with their matching shirts. You just gotta love them! Of course then I had to sport my new pink shirt and we went out on the front porch, where our cute neighbor Cory did his best to get the wild family to hold still for a new family picture.
After dinner, Bishop Christopherson, Brother Black, Jim and Dad all gathered around to give me a priesthood blessing. Dad anointed the blessing and the Bishop gave it. It meant a lot to me and brought me great peace. I slept well.
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